Life Lessons Not Life Tests

Page 19.

Bridge of Sighs. Venice, Italy

     Yesterday I was talking with some friends and mentioned something that tends to surprise people. I don't believe in the concept of being "tested". At least not for me, anyhow.What I mean is, many people talk about how they are being tested in life. We all know someone who's said, "God is testing me". Well, I simply don't believe in that concept for me. You see, I believe that God gives me life lessons and it's up to me to learn them or not. But I don't believe he actually "tests" me to see if I've learned them. I believe he knows the answer well enough.
     So, when I'm going through difficulties of any nature, I know that my God is trying to teach me something. For example, He's trying to teach me patience or humility if I have no money. Or he's trying to teach me gratitude and appreciation if I'm sick. He's trying to teach me acceptance if I'm having issues with someone. And, of course, there are countless others. These are some of the lessons I can never learn deeply enough.
     But testing? Nah. God knows what I'm capable of. He doesn't need to see for himself.
     I just have a different approach to this issue than many people. But it works for me.  

Not Being Grateful For - But Being Grateful To

Page 18.

Mont St. Michel, France

     I recently read a commentary which was refreshing. It was about being grateful to Somebody this Thanksgiving, not being grateful for something. I've never though about it in those terms before. But, isn't that a wonderful concept?

Mont St. Michel, France

     Somebody granted me blessings. That is, Somebody who cares deeply for me and my welfare. One of the blessings which I'm most grateful for is my ability to see them in the first place. I'm very lucky that way. Maybe this Thanksgiving season, just for a change I'll try to think more about the who and less about the what.
     Can I try, for just a few minutes, to put the hustle and bustle of the holiday aside and try to remember to thank the Spirit. And I don't mean to thank the Spirit for my family and the food and all the accoutrements but to thank the Spirit for the Spirit's sake.
     "Thank You for being You." I think that saying those words on Thanksgiving Day would really reinforce my thanks.           

On Enjoying Life

Page 17.
     Have you ever met anybody who hasn't smiled in years? You just get the feeling that if they smiled and enjoyed the world then their face might break?
     What is life's value if I don't enjoy it? Do I really believe that The Great Spirit put me here to be miserable or to believe that life is too intense or weighty to be enjoyed? Absolutely not. Of course I realize that difficulties happen sometimes. That's life too. But I don't need the difficulties to be of greater importance than the joys. Some people do though. Some people believe that life is to be endured and suffered through. They believe that bad weighs more than good. They seem to believe that they're fulfilling the human destiny by being martyrs. Then they get frustrated with others who live a joyous life. They believe that those who don't live sorrowful lives are cheating, inferior or sinners.
     Also, some people think it's okay to be happy sometimes but not too often. They think that something bad is always getting ready to happen, so they better be prepared. How many times have I known people who've said things like, "If you're happy today, then something bad will happen tomorrow". Says who? If I want to be sad tomorrow (or today), I certainly have that choice. But why would I want to? To prove a point? Isn't that cutting off my nose to spite my face?
     I believe that my God wants me to be joyous and to spread joy to others. I believe that's one of my missions in life. Now that I take seriously.
   

Jealousy = Hatred

Page 16.
     It's human nature to want what others have. We believe that we'll be happier if we have something nicer. But, some people are able to evolve above that. Some people believe that envy, jealousy and in turn hatred can be thought through and neutralized.      Whether we hate somebody because they have a beautiful spouse, great job, successful children, nice home or fat bank account, it still comes down to hatred. And hatred is a negative emotion. It doesn't increase our happiness or anyone else's for that matter. By hating others, regardless of the reason, one thing we're actually doing is preventing them from coming into our lives. In this case, they may, in fact, be wonderful people who deserve their blessings. But we don't allow ourselves to know them because we're prejudiced against people who have something we want. Look at how we're cheating ourselves. 

On Breathing

Page 15.

     When I get stressed out about something... anything... I need to remember to concentrate on my breathing. Concentrating on breathing is one of the oldest and most effective methods of meditation. To really examine and feel my inward and outward breath as it happens is to really force me to focus on the here and know. And the here and now is all I have. I'm forced to appreciate the moments that I have. Those moments are very fleeting. They won't be here again.

Moving On.

Page 14.
     Moving on is sometimes so difficult, regardless what I'm moving on from. There's an old saying, "when God closes a window, He opens a door". I get that. I really do. My problem is that I don't enjoy closing the window.
     All human beings have difficulty with change. Sometimes we get used to something and then it seems like once we get used to it, it changes. Then we have to cope. "Coping" requires so much energy. It just zaps me. But I always survive it. That's what I need to remember. No matter what I'm going through, I will survive in one way or another. And often, unexpectedly, I end up receiving gifts. too.

Rudolph Valentino

Choosing Misery

Page 13.
     Some people just love to live in the problem. They love to keep bad situations just as they are. Are they more scared of change than most people? Are they scared that if they improve their life, then they won't be able to complain? Do they think that they're not worthy of a happier life? Do they not realize that an improved life is possible? Or is it a combination of all of these?
     I believe that everybody deserves a happy life. I believe God created us to be happy and it's practically going against His well to choose misery. In many more situations than we admit, we do choose it. Sorry, but it's true. We choose misery. How pathetic...

Torre Agbar (Water Department Tower). Barcelona, Spain

The Serenity Prayer; Part Three

Page 12.
     The third line of the Serenity Prayer is "And Wisdom To Know The Difference." When can I change something and when can't I? Well... I can always change something when it's my action, my feeling or my view. As for anything else? Well... That's a good question.

     A lot of powerful people are always trying to change the world. And sometimes they really do succeed, for the good and bad. But powerful people sometimes forget that the most long-lasting change in humanity comes when ordinary people change their day-to-day actions. It's when common people say to themselves, "today, I'll be a kinder person" or "today, I'll accept the world and it's people as it is" is when the world and the people living in it is really improved. Because when I accept the world and the people in it as they are, then I'm a happier person. When I'm happier, I'm kinder to others and kindness is catchy. You catch it lie the flu. But unlike the flu, kindness creates positivity and beauty wherever it goes. 

      So, as long as I know that I can change me, no matter what my situation or feeling, then changing anything or anyone else becomes less important. Subsequently what difference does it make if I change anything outside of me? As long as I remember that I'm always able to change me and how I feel, then serenity and peace are mine forever.

Kailasanatha Temple. Ellora Caves. India