Going Back In Time

Page 20.
     If you could go back in time, how many times would you and where and why? Would I go back and try to meet some of my heroes like Leonardo da Vinci, King David or Dr. Martin Luther King or would I go back and change some of the decisions I've made over the years? I have to admit that this is a difficult question. Who wouldn't want to meet their historical heroes? But at the same time, who wouldn't want to undo some disastrous decisions? And let's say I could only go back once. Then I could only attempt to meet one figure or change one decision.           
     What's the worst decision I've ever made? Honestly, I don't even like to think about it. But, I fully realize that I don't know how much  happiness in my life today is a result of a seemingly poor decision that I may have made thirty years ago or even one year ago. Regardless of the department of life where the poor decision was made: work; education; romance; family; etc. I can't even begin to guess how many positive results were ultimately created in the ripples of said terrible choice.
     I think it's easier to simply accept the reality of the past, as difficult as that can be sometimes. It's the only honest possibility.

Life Lessons Not Life Tests

Page 19.

Bridge of Sighs. Venice, Italy

     Yesterday I was talking with some friends and mentioned something that tends to surprise people. I don't believe in the concept of being "tested". At least not for me, anyhow.What I mean is, many people talk about how they are being tested in life. We all know someone who's said, "God is testing me". Well, I simply don't believe in that concept for me. You see, I believe that God gives me life lessons and it's up to me to learn them or not. But I don't believe he actually "tests" me to see if I've learned them. I believe he knows the answer well enough.
     So, when I'm going through difficulties of any nature, I know that my God is trying to teach me something. For example, He's trying to teach me patience or humility if I have no money. Or he's trying to teach me gratitude and appreciation if I'm sick. He's trying to teach me acceptance if I'm having issues with someone. And, of course, there are countless others. These are some of the lessons I can never learn deeply enough.
     But testing? Nah. God knows what I'm capable of. He doesn't need to see for himself.
     I just have a different approach to this issue than many people. But it works for me.  

Not Being Grateful For - But Being Grateful To

Page 18.

Mont St. Michel, France

     I recently read a commentary which was refreshing. It was about being grateful to Somebody this Thanksgiving, not being grateful for something. I've never though about it in those terms before. But, isn't that a wonderful concept?

Mont St. Michel, France

     Somebody granted me blessings. That is, Somebody who cares deeply for me and my welfare. One of the blessings which I'm most grateful for is my ability to see them in the first place. I'm very lucky that way. Maybe this Thanksgiving season, just for a change I'll try to think more about the who and less about the what.
     Can I try, for just a few minutes, to put the hustle and bustle of the holiday aside and try to remember to thank the Spirit. And I don't mean to thank the Spirit for my family and the food and all the accoutrements but to thank the Spirit for the Spirit's sake.
     "Thank You for being You." I think that saying those words on Thanksgiving Day would really reinforce my thanks.           

On Enjoying Life

Page 17.
     Have you ever met anybody who hasn't smiled in years? You just get the feeling that if they smiled and enjoyed the world then their face might break?
     What is life's value if I don't enjoy it? Do I really believe that The Great Spirit put me here to be miserable or to believe that life is too intense or weighty to be enjoyed? Absolutely not. Of course I realize that difficulties happen sometimes. That's life too. But I don't need the difficulties to be of greater importance than the joys. Some people do though. Some people believe that life is to be endured and suffered through. They believe that bad weighs more than good. They seem to believe that they're fulfilling the human destiny by being martyrs. Then they get frustrated with others who live a joyous life. They believe that those who don't live sorrowful lives are cheating, inferior or sinners.
     Also, some people think it's okay to be happy sometimes but not too often. They think that something bad is always getting ready to happen, so they better be prepared. How many times have I known people who've said things like, "If you're happy today, then something bad will happen tomorrow". Says who? If I want to be sad tomorrow (or today), I certainly have that choice. But why would I want to? To prove a point? Isn't that cutting off my nose to spite my face?
     I believe that my God wants me to be joyous and to spread joy to others. I believe that's one of my missions in life. Now that I take seriously.
   

Jealousy = Hatred

Page 16.
     It's human nature to want what others have. We believe that we'll be happier if we have something nicer. But, some people are able to evolve above that. Some people believe that envy, jealousy and in turn hatred can be thought through and neutralized.      Whether we hate somebody because they have a beautiful spouse, great job, successful children, nice home or fat bank account, it still comes down to hatred. And hatred is a negative emotion. It doesn't increase our happiness or anyone else's for that matter. By hating others, regardless of the reason, one thing we're actually doing is preventing them from coming into our lives. In this case, they may, in fact, be wonderful people who deserve their blessings. But we don't allow ourselves to know them because we're prejudiced against people who have something we want. Look at how we're cheating ourselves. 

On Breathing

Page 15.

     When I get stressed out about something... anything... I need to remember to concentrate on my breathing. Concentrating on breathing is one of the oldest and most effective methods of meditation. To really examine and feel my inward and outward breath as it happens is to really force me to focus on the here and know. And the here and now is all I have. I'm forced to appreciate the moments that I have. Those moments are very fleeting. They won't be here again.

Moving On.

Page 14.
     Moving on is sometimes so difficult, regardless what I'm moving on from. There's an old saying, "when God closes a window, He opens a door". I get that. I really do. My problem is that I don't enjoy closing the window.
     All human beings have difficulty with change. Sometimes we get used to something and then it seems like once we get used to it, it changes. Then we have to cope. "Coping" requires so much energy. It just zaps me. But I always survive it. That's what I need to remember. No matter what I'm going through, I will survive in one way or another. And often, unexpectedly, I end up receiving gifts. too.

Rudolph Valentino

Choosing Misery

Page 13.
     Some people just love to live in the problem. They love to keep bad situations just as they are. Are they more scared of change than most people? Are they scared that if they improve their life, then they won't be able to complain? Do they think that they're not worthy of a happier life? Do they not realize that an improved life is possible? Or is it a combination of all of these?
     I believe that everybody deserves a happy life. I believe God created us to be happy and it's practically going against His well to choose misery. In many more situations than we admit, we do choose it. Sorry, but it's true. We choose misery. How pathetic...

Torre Agbar (Water Department Tower). Barcelona, Spain

The Serenity Prayer; Part Three

Page 12.
     The third line of the Serenity Prayer is "And Wisdom To Know The Difference." When can I change something and when can't I? Well... I can always change something when it's my action, my feeling or my view. As for anything else? Well... That's a good question.

     A lot of powerful people are always trying to change the world. And sometimes they really do succeed, for the good and bad. But powerful people sometimes forget that the most long-lasting change in humanity comes when ordinary people change their day-to-day actions. It's when common people say to themselves, "today, I'll be a kinder person" or "today, I'll accept the world and it's people as it is" is when the world and the people living in it is really improved. Because when I accept the world and the people in it as they are, then I'm a happier person. When I'm happier, I'm kinder to others and kindness is catchy. You catch it lie the flu. But unlike the flu, kindness creates positivity and beauty wherever it goes. 

      So, as long as I know that I can change me, no matter what my situation or feeling, then changing anything or anyone else becomes less important. Subsequently what difference does it make if I change anything outside of me? As long as I remember that I'm always able to change me and how I feel, then serenity and peace are mine forever.

Kailasanatha Temple. Ellora Caves. India

Serenity Paryer; Part Two

Page 11.
     The second phrase of the Serenity Prayer is, "Courage to change the things I can" Well... we all know that there's only one thing I can change: me. I have no ultimate authority over anybody or anything except for me, my feelings and my actions. There's extraordinary power in that knowledge though. I have the ability to completely change who and what I am. I have the ability to wake up any day and change my future. That's incredible.
     So many philosophers, writers and commentators are completely incorrect. Humans really can change their future; create a second act for themselves; start over again and all the other euphemisms for create a new existence.
     But to do so, firstly, requires the realization that it can be done. And that's where so many people are blind. Precious few people completely grasp the fact that they have the power to change their lives. We believe that we're born into a situation and then we're stuck with it. The human race doesn't teach itself that with each day comes a new beginning. And sometimes that beginning can be a practically
new identity, if needed.
     Secondly, is the decision to do it. "Am I worth it? Do I have that much value?" So often, people believe they're not worth a better life because their family or society has spent years convincing them so. But they need to keep in mind that humans aren't garbage and we do have value and worth in the eyes of the Universe. We do deserve happiness.
     Thirdly, is the action required to change. We really do have the strength to change old habits. Of course they're going to be uncomfortable at first, but then as those new habits replace old ones and our happiness increases and we gain more peace and serenity we know it was all worth it. All that work to change has an incredible pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: an inner security that no amount of money; drugs; alcohol; sex or any other addiction can replace.

The Serenity Prayer; Part One

Page Ten.
     The first part of the Serenity Prayer is "God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change..."
      It sounds so easy, doesn't it? We have no trouble or inner argument when we look at a wall which is blue and accept that wall as being blue. And further, we accept that even if we wished that wall to be green, we readily understand that the green won't happen unless we pick up a brush and paint it. We don't cry, scream, drink, hit or have any form of inner struggle over the fact that the wall in question is blue and not green (unless we paint it)!
     But, the moment we're talking about a childhood memory, an argument with a boss or any unhappiness with the entire world, well then... That's when the screaming and drinking begins for so many people. If I don't accept the fact that my mother beat me when I was eight years old, or if I don't accept the fact that my wife cheated on me, or if I don't accept the fact that my child was murdered and if I don't realize that no amount of inner anger will change those facts, then I won't know inner peace.
     Conversely, if I accept reality for how and what it is, then no matter what happens, I'll be safe. Because, one element of accepting reality is knowing that it isn't personal. A lot of people don't know that. They think the Universe is out to get them.
     I have a friend who says, "People aren't out to do things to me as much as they're out to do things for themselves." This goes for the universe as well. Just because I don't like something or can't accept something doesn't mean it has anything to do with me. I have got to remove myself from the equation if I'm going to know inner peace, happiness, serenity and security. I don't have to change anything outside of myself, I only have to accept it to be at peace. It's that simple.

Deciding Whom To Hate

Page 9.
     I sometimes wonder how people decide whom they're going to hate, be scared of or consider an enemy. I'm not talking about a situation where we hate a particular person. I'm talking about despising a entire group of people. Certainly, people learn much of their own bigotry from their parents and community. Plus, there are childhood experiences which influence us.
     I have a friend who will admit that he doesn't like Black people because some Black children were mean to him when he was a young child in school. I have another friend who hates Asians because his father fought in Viet Nam and passed along his war-based experiences and hatreds to his son. I have another friend who's prejudiced against homosexuals because she's a devout Christian and believes the bible condemns homosexuality. I know a woman who hates alcoholics and drug addicts because her mother was an addict and abused her when she was little. Adolf Hitler used hatred toward Jews as a way to unify a country.
     We all know though, that hatred is really just an excuse to not look inward. If we allow ourselves the dubious luxury of hatred, then we don't have to address our own inner demons. It's much easier and comfortable for me to be angry at you than it is for me to be angry at me.
     So, in spite of this honesty and knowledge, what group of people do I hate and why? Will that hatred improve the quality of my life today?

Neuschwanstein Castle, Germany

Screamers

Page 8.
     Have you ever known people who seemed to think that if they scream loud enough or argue long enough, then reality will change?
     Many years ago, I was having a conversation with a father of the bride-to-be about the cost of the upcoming party. His wife was standing right next to me during the conversation. He was positive that the wedding would come in under a certain dollar amount. We tried to educate him on the cost of holy nuptials. He simply got louder and louder and angrier and angrier as we tried to inform him of realistic dollar figures for those events. Later on, the wife explained to me that "volume" and "anger" were how he dealt with the world. If he didn't like what somebody was saying to him, he simply got loud, angry and argumentative. Essentially, he felt that those qualities would change reality to what he wanted it to be.
     I've met other people during my life who did the same thing. I've known people who've screamed at painters because they didn't like the wall color which they had picked out. I've known parents who've screamed and argued with their children for telling the truth, because the truthful answer wasn't the answer that the parent wanted to hear. Some people truly believe that if they argue long enough,threateningly enough and angrily enough than they'll be correct. I'd rather be happy than correct.

 

What Am I Worth?

Page 7.
     What am I worth? Am I worth receiving wonderful experiences? Am I worth achieving my definition of success? Am I worth good health? Am I worth peace of mind? Yes I am.
     I am a child of the universe. Therefore, I have value. Garbage doesn't exist in a perfect universe and I believe that this universe is perfect and beautiful. So, who am I to question the universe? If I exist, it must be for a reason. I'm fulfilling some need. And I'm the only person who's designed to meet that specific need. My mere presence fulfills some exact plan. Therefore, I have worth, value and intrinsic beauty.
     So, I am worthy of happiness, success, health and well-being. When I live outside of those parameters, it's because I'm doing so of my own free will. Of course, things sometime happen beyond our control. Cancer, job lay-offs and so forth. But what's within my control is a healthy weight and good eating habits; always having an updated resume; not tolerating any form of abuse from "loved ones"; etc.
     I am worth taking good care of me.

 

Moses Or Pharaoh

Page 6.
     If Moses represents the desire for change and Pharaoh represents the fear of change, who lives more strongly in you?

Steps #1, 2 & 3

Page 5.
     "I can't. God can. I think I'll let him."
     How incredibly easy is that to say? We all know that answer. How difficult is it to do? We all that answer, too. When we have something too powerful weighing us down, what do we do? We have got to turn it over to a power greater than ourselves, if we're to survive. We just have to. Whatever my perception of God may be, I don't doubt that he has much more power, strength and insight than I. Those powers enable God to help me to handle anything that comes my way. Just so long as I ask him and then allow him the opportunity.
     There's an old riddle: Three frogs were sitting on a log. Two decide to jump off. How many are left? Three. They made the decision, but didn't take action. Decisions and actions are two very different things.

Intentions Not Actions

Page 4.
     How much do I wish the world evaluated me on my intentions, not my actions? I know that I usually am trying to do the correct, good, helpful thing. Trouble is, others don't always know that. As I'm a human being, my actions don't always produce positive results for everybody. Sometimes I foul up. People then get upset with me. What can I do then? Nothing except apologize and try to learn from it. If my apology isn't accepted, there's nothing I can do about that. I can't control what somebody else does. However, I can always learn from my mistakes. That's because I can control what I do. 

Garden of Cosmic Speculation

Pray Only To God

Page 3.
     I've known a lot of people over the years who've made a human being their God. Whether it's their husband or wife, their best friend, their spiritual adviser, anybody. I have an  acquaintance who says that his father taught him everything in the world, except how to live without him. Feeling like you cannot live without a specific person is setting up a dangerous prospect for yourself. I've been there. I know. Many years ago, somebody told me that there are only two beings who will never leave me: Me and God. I would do myself the greatest favor I've ever done if I learn to have extraordinary trust and confidence in those two beings.     

LOVE OTHERS;

TRUST MYSELF;

PRAY ONLY TO GOD.

Absolute Unselfishness

Page 2.
      I believe that absolute unselfishness doesn't exist. Mature adults are aware of their selfish or unselfish actions. And they're aware of what they gain or loose by those actions. Again, I'm talking about mature adults here; people who are able to step back and see the effects of their actions. When we see the effects of our unselfish behaviors, we take satisfaction and happiness from it. Therefore, we still gain (happiness) and are aware of our gains. Subsequently, taking a positive action for others and receiving no compensation in any manner is impossible. That happiness is the compensation. Absolute unselfishness doesn't exist.

Doubts.

Page 1.

Rainbow Mountains, China

Add caption

     Do you ever sit back and say, "what will become of me"? Even with a very strong faith that the universe will take care of me, I'll admit that I do say that to myself sometimes. I believe the spirit of the universe didn't bring me this far just to abandon me now. But I'm a human being. Therefore, I occasionally have my doubts. Those doubts have got to be okay, because they exist. If they exist, then they're God made too.