Just Another Story. Tourette's Syndrome #4

Page 45.
     My Tourette's was pretty consistent (unmissed by any passerby) for the first few years, 5-7th grade, then became somewhat seasonal. It was always there mind you, but became more persistent or less, depending upon the time of year. (But now that I think of it, almost right from the start, deep winter and summer weren't quite as bad as spring and autumn.) By 8th grade though, springtime was awful, just horrific. Nowadays, I'd describe my TS during those springtimes as being in "full-bloom".
     At the time, I didn't grasp that it was ever worse or better, because I couldn't look at it objectively. I was so full of self-loathing, for many reasons, that I couldn't afford to look inward, even if to say "it seems to be better or worse right now". When people are extremely scared of their own shadow, they tend to avoid looking at that shadow, instead, trying to pretend it isn't there at all.
     And running away... always running away.