More On My Life: Introversion

Page 23.
     I'll get back to my Tourette's later on. But for now, let me write about one more of the four  sour-tasting casserole I brought to the table on the day I was born. (This is to imply that I also brought some wonderful gifts and talents with me when I arrived. Those shouldn't be negated. But when everything seems terrible, it's difficult, if not impossible, to see the jewels. And my first 20 years were terrible. I didn't know what a jewel was.) 
     I'm intensely introverted. I don't mean "shy". Oh... no. No, no, no. "Shy"doesn't even come close to describing it. And it was over the top when I was young. Like my Tourette's, I'm often successful at camouflaging it nowadays on a casual basis, but not always. Sometimes there are real issues.
     For example, my introversion has often gotten in the way of holding jobs. I go through jobs and careers with great speed and my fear of people and my need to be alone is a primary reason. Admittedly, there are a variety of colorful reasons why I can't hold a job, but an extreme form of introversion is one of the primary ones.
     Also, I've never been in a romantic relationship. I'm now my early '50's and have never had anything related to romance in my life. Bizarre, but true. And the reason is that same, stupid brand of over-the-top introversion which has stood in the way of career fulfillment. To clarify, there are other reasons why there's been no romance, but this is numero uno. Don't get me wrong... I've gotten laid. But that's not what I'm looking for. Some guys only want that. I'm not one of them.
     Life-Altering Introversion. Honestly, of all my characteristics, that's the one which is most in competition with the Tourette's to see how badly they can complicate things.
     To be continued...